13 Random,silly things you should never,ever try...

Another one of my fav. posts from WordPress.Enjoy!!

Hello peeps! Some words of "wisdom" that I want to share with you, who knows *shrugs* someone might actually find them useful.....

 1. Never use your thighs or your face to test the hotness of an iron, especially when the iron is plugged .Of all places to test it on! I can't shout.

2. Never try to swallow boiled eggs whole. Need I say more? That statement already explains itself, attempting it is the very height of stupidity ,unless of course you are a snake.

3. Avoid eating an excessive amount of Ugwu/ Efo riro ( fresh, green, leafy vegetables cooked with pepper) or dairy products (especially those with "lactose-intolerance" issues) before setting out for a loong road trip.  If you do decide to go ahead and damn the consequence,  just make sure you pack old News papers and toilet roll in your hand luggage and pray the Bus driver is sympathetic enough to stop for you when you start feeling that sweaty, uncontrollable urge to download your bowel content.

4. For the ladies...wearing sleeveless tops without shaving them 'pits  and also trying to shave your facial hair.....big No! No! (They will come back in full force with all their family members).

5.During overnight trips on buses, If you find yourself seated in a window seat, watch out for the passenger  seated directly in front of you in case he/she wants to spit or rinse his/her mouth with water (especially if you happen to have your head out at that time), chances are high that his/her mouth content will land squarely on your face if you are not alert, especially when the bus is moving very fast ( may God help you if your mouth is slightly open at that time!)

 6.Don't attempt to spit while upside down because it will end up in your nose! (Abeg! It didn't happen to me o!)

7.If you are a guy, never piss in the wind! ( That's a Classic, I just had to include it).

 8.Don't go to the toilet with your mobile phone in your pocket (Eeeewwww!!!! Yep! It happened twice to someone I know), this is also applicable when you are at the beach( that happened to me recently).

9. Don't put foil paper or foil pack in the microwave *sigh*  Unfortunately, some people still make this " mistake" even as I type.....

 10.For the babes, do not attempt to go for a night drive on 3rd Mainland bridge with a friend/toaster whose car never seems to  have enough fuel or is faulty ( ha! ha! ha! I won't mention names).

11. Never, ever try to separate two agberos (touts) fighting, rather, RUN!! That is not the time for you to practise your perceived "Agbero Whisperer Skillz".

12.For the ladies that leave home very early for work, never attempt to apply your  "make up" at that time of the morning without adequate sunlight, you are going to end up looking like a clown, or worse, a masquerade, especially if you used candle light to apply it.

 13. Ladies, we all know Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, however, If you know words like "beautiful","lovely" or even "fine" has never been used to describe you, don't even think of going for a Beauty Pageant, not even when those wicked, wicked  friends or" frenemies" try to convince you otherwise (na big set-up and disgrace dey await you biko)

  P.S: Believe it or not, all  these things did happen. 50% of the above statements are contributions from readers and the rest.......hmmm........my lips are sealed!