So last Sunday we finally got to church and we were a bit late. I got the children settled into their various classes and got their tags. Yesoo! That's what the world has turned into when even within the church premises, children are no longer safe and no one can be trusted 100 percent. God help us all!
So Oga and yours truely made our way to the main church building and the Ushers led us to our seats. There was a lady seated to my left with an empty seat separating us and Oga to my right. The invited Minister was saying some powerful declarations and prayers and you know how it is, some people get up to claim it (even d wan wey no concern dem, dem dey claim am!).
Na so d babe beside me started shouting, raising and waving her hand, not to the top o! but sideways. I kept calm, afterall na inside house of God we dey and na the same God we come worship. But I noticed her hand kept swinging nearer and nearer my face every time she waved it, which was frequent. Hmmm....mm e be like say dis babe wan take style give me Holy ghost slap or pluck my left eye in praise o! Wetin I go do if e happen? Stay calm and say "Oh it's okay,no problem" while rubbing my stinging cheek or covering my watering, red eye OR Slap/ chook my own back??
Then she flung her hand again missing my eye by half an inch!! Hian! Wetin! Na only she dey church?? I felt a tap from Oga and he asked "Willow, Is she trying to remove your eye?" Apparently he had noticed the increasing proximity of the lady's hand towards my face. I replied "I don't know o! I thought I was imagining it". I shifted nearer to him to make more room for the spirit filled sister and also save my face from a hot slap. She got the hint and started getting up instead and flinging her hand upwards.
Thank God, make I no add sin on top sin in the house of God cos I no fit guarantee I no go slap my own back, but not becos i dey vex *reflex action tinz*
Between, I Wonder why some women would neglect basic hygiene like not using ordinary deodorant. I am not being mean, but in this our hot, stifling weather,It is very necessary. Even if you don't mind your sweaty smell, It might be offensive to someone else.
Two ladies strolled into my Shop yesterday afternoon and I almost fainted. They were dressed smartly and you could see they had stepped out from their office. The main buyer was the one sweating heavily, It was as if she applied sweat scented roll on. Hian! It was bad! I sweat too but not the type that would make you want to recklessly reach for your air freshner while the nasal offender is still around.How woman sweat go dey smell like labourer own wey dey offload cargo for Apapa port? How manage??
Just when the air finally cleared, She turned up again!!!! Ahn! Ahn! Ta ni moo se? (Who did I offend?). I quickly got up to meet her by the door. They had gone round the other shops in the Plaza again and they still didn't get what she wanted,they wanted more suggestions on where else they could go. I described another shop location which was about 20 minutes walk but much shorter by car. She and her friend decided to walk o! Sweat on top sweat! I can't shout! By the time she gets to that shop....smh.