Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Parking, little white lies and too much efizzi!

Hello peeps!

In my life time, I don't think I will be able to understand the way some people think, else why would you go and visit someone in House No 10 and park in such a way that people in House No 12 cannot drive out of their compound without turning to Michael Schumacher? 

I was running late that morning as usual and I hurriedly got myself ready to leave the house. I flung the gates open and behold! An unknown motorist parked in between our house and our landlord's house, making sure 1/3 of his car was blocking our driveway.

" Willow calm down, this is a new year o" I silently reminded myself with my nostrils flaring in disbelief at the car owner's effontry. If to say na the old Willow ehn, I would have brushed the back of the car blocking my way,the only thing that prevented me from doing so was

1. I no sabi brush car, I never try am before.Only in my dreams

 2. Na our landlord visitor ( rent go soon due,make landlord no vex increase house rent)

 3.Na Mercedes Benz jeep.I doubt if my Honda can survive my questionable/untried brushing skills (I've seen a mercedes car hit a wall before, the mercedes survived the impact, but the  poor wall came tumbling down like the walls of Jericho). 

4. Even if I manage dent the jeep small, na me go dey guilty and I know the person no go use roadside mechanic, na "Mercedes Auto workshop" for Lekki/Victoria island im go go repair am,gbese ni yen men!!

I couldn't be bothered hammering on the landlord's gate,didn't have the time for explanation, so I decided to wing it. 

I really shouldnt have cos I ended up hitting our gate....again!! What can I say, I'm a bad "reverser". My driving history is dotted with reversing "issues". Me that when security men try to make me  park in a tight corner I just blurt out "I don't know how to reverse,just give me an easy place to park if you don't want any wahala". Hian! You should see the speed they use to assign me alternative area to park.Yes ke! I'm shameless like that.

 I checked the damage.Nothing too obvious, mostly scratches and a small dent. Big relief. I made a mental note to myself to look for a rugged explanation for my new dent if Oga ever notices it. 

Lie 1: "Imagine! It was one Danfo bus driver I didn't give chance" 

Lie 2: "These okada drivers are so reckless, one of them hit my car nii!".

I know I'm lying now,but It's a well known fact that most of them are always high on warrefer and reckless to boot.

 Imagine the embarrasment of admitting to Oga that I hit the gate again. Willow!otun otun ti kolu gate!( you have hit the gate again) international driver!! 

D1 was given an assignment from School over the weekend to write a summary of his favorite story book and make it into a booklet. I bought cardboards,cut them out and made a booklet and got him to write the story in his own writing. He submitted on Monday. 

Imagine my surprise when I got to his class to pick him that afternoon and saw one of his classmate's "assignment" on the teacher's table, It was professionally typed, bound gummed and the child's photo was pasted in front for effect! Apparently I'm not the only parent suffering from CMS (competitive mum syndrome). Haba! Primary 3 doing assignment like an undergraduate, making the rest of us look unserious. What is the child going to do when he's in the University? Ehn?

 D1's teacher explained that the student's mum owns a cyber cafe which explains the efizzi, No wonder! I know the School always encourage Parental involvement in homeworks,projects e.t.c  but what's the point if the parent does all the homework and the child doesn't even contribute in any way to get it done? Where does one draw the line?

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